Paraprosdokians

This morning I got an email from my dear friend Jean-Paul Auffrand, an English teacher from France who I met in Finland back in 1997 when we both attended a course on how to introduce modern technologies into foreign language teaching. That was 15 years ago! Since then we've implemented many a modern tool in our teaching, but what I appreciate most when it comes to new technologies is that that they've given us the opportunity to stay in touch over all those years, for which I'm so grateful!

Jean-Paul's email made my day. He sent me a list of paraprodoskians. According to Wikipedia, a paraprodoskian is:
"A paraprosdokian (pærəprɒsˈdkiən/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part."
Here are some more:
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. 
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. (Einstein)

More here.